Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
