Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
