Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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