All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
