I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I understand Curling. That high.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
