I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
