is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize