I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
