and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
