brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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