Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
