Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
