The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Randomize
