We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
