The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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