She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
