speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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