I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize