I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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