respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
