I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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