Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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