so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
