are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
