I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
