I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
