Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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