he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
