windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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