So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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