so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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