Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Houston, we have a blender
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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