if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
