Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
