Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
