going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
