If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
