He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
