med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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