it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize