this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
