you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
