I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
