his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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