I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
