You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
