Will you blow on my dice?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
