She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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