I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
