You can't motorboat a personality
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
