im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
