how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
