the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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