I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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