Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Randomize
