There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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