Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
