the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
being pregnant is like rehab
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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