absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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