she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
